Unlucky 13: The Breakup

It's not you, it's me.

I just need to focus on me right now.

We just don't want the same things.

I need to focus on my faith.

I've fallen out of love with you.

You're too good for me.

Maybe we're not for each other right now, but later.

I hope we'll still be friends.

You're amazing.

I will always love you, even if we're not together.

I had so much fun, but I need to be more serious about things.

The Lord has a plan for you and I'm not in the equation.

Leave me alone.

Weee-eeee are never ever ever getting back together.

When you see my face, hope it gives you hell.

Club can't even handle me right now.

Did I miss any?


It's a sad thing, usually. Breakups really stink. I'm breaking up with myself. It's just really hard to blog about how many fun things I do, I'm not dating someone, but I'd still rather talk about something else.

Relationships take work. I mean, planning dates is hard work. My life is relatively boring. Inserting spice and romance into my life with myself was kind of a nightmare. I am terrible at taking self-portraits. I'd rather sit at home and watch The Office and cook things.

I tried real hard and this is what happened.

Incident #1
"Could you please take a picture of me holding this book about Kama Sutra for my blog?"
"No thanks!"
(Okay this didn't happen exactly like that, but a sales employee asked me why I was taking pictures with a sex book and he was not willing to help)

Incident #2
"Would you like a gift receipt for this lingerie"
"No it's for me."
"Well your 'friend' will like it for sure.
***When my parents were out of town, I slept in the lingerie. THAT CRAP IS WAY UNCOMFORTABLE. IT WAS SURELY INVENTED BY A HORNY DUDE.

Incident #3
I went to a restaurant by myself and was seated.
The hostess asked 4 times if I'd like to call someone.
--No this is for a blog. I'm dating myself.
"Oh, well if you change your mind.... let me know"


Yes hostess lady, I have changed my mind.

It pains me to do this. I wanted to finish what I started, but its not working. I guess part of being an adult is knowing when things aren't working.  I will of course still blog, but I'm so boring. If this was a real relationship, I'd self-admit myself to couples counseling. Maybe I'll try something else. Like 60 Days of Thankfulness.

Yeah.

I'd rather be thankful than dating myself.

I'd give this a 5.

But I still wonder, have you been dished a bad breakup line? Let me know in the comments.