Day #4----Ain't Nobody Got Time For That

I am dating myself.

I am “marrying age”.

Marrying age is not to be confused with “ready to be married!”

I also suffer from an affliction that kicks in when someone I know actually is ready to be married. When I see it on Facebook or I see them in person, I immediately began to compare, belittle or get jealous.

It’s either….

“Oh yay!”

“You’ve got to be kidding me”

“No way in hell did she say yes”

“About damn time”

“HER?!!?!”

I’d like to get married someday, but I don’t think any man (or at least the kind I’d like) approves of my messy car or my disgustingly infrequent leg shavings. It’s kind of nasty. The layer of filth that plagues my car could maybe cause a man to consider joining the priesthood. Whatever.

I sometimes wonder why people who are uglier than me are getting married. I realize ugly is a subjective term but come on…..Honey Boo Boo’s mom has a lover and I don’t. I have a nice butt, great lips and sizable rack, who wouldn’t want that?! Ha.  I have all of my teeth, I’m not full of piercings or ink!

WHAT GIVES?!?!? My expectations aren’t even that high! I just want a tall, nerdy-ish guy who loves the Lord, loves me, loves being healthy and thinks I’m sexy. If he wears glasses and has a motorcycle, even better!

When someone gets engaged, I just get all mean and judgy.

I am supposed to be happy for them, not wondering where I fall short or how I missed the memo on how to make a guy fall in love with me. It is their time!

Assuming I get the love memo at some point, I would want their undivided ‘WooHoo! I am so happy for you’. I am being selfish in that respect I guess. I want to be the center of attention.

I, Caryn Alexis Blomquist do solemnly swear to be nothing but happy for you when you get engaged. I also probably want to attend your wedding. I also am single, so please just invite me, not me plus someone. I love you.

And because I wasn’t dating myself last week and Pinterested pictures that are of no use to me…. I had this on my computer!

 Yep. Now if someone does fall in love with me, I don’t have to drop subtle clues. He can just read my blog.

What do you struggle with? What’s hard to watch your friends have that you don’t?